Yesterday I drove to Starbucks in Simpsonville for some Java and a quiet place to read. Michelle and Cathy met up with me there, and we talked and laughed. But amid the laughter and the recounting of our current lives, Cathy came to the realization that I plan on perminently dwelling in Romania one day. I had forgotten that I had never shared my calling with her or Ben (my brother). She pointed out everything I would be leaving behind. I reassured her that, "Trust me, I know, and have battled it for a long time."
It doesn't seem fair to us (at times) that a loving, caring God would grant us so many blessings and then petition that we freely surrender those gifts in exchange for a life void of those things we hold dearest.
I have said goodbye more times than I care to remember.Yet it never grows easy. I still cry and ask why!
These frustrations also spill over into the realm of singledom. Will God ever grant me a mate with whom I can work towards my calling and in the calling of missions coupled with children's ministry? I don't know. It may be one of the many things I have to surrender.
I'm not a very patient person. But God continues to bring situations in my life that require me to wait. So...I am waiting.
And tomorrow is Sunday.
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